One Year

Exactly one year ago today, I was starting to realize I really was in labor (technically my water broke very early in the morning, but all morning and part of the afternoon was pretty pain-free). That means today has marked one year since I've become a mom. And I've learned some things.

• When moms say they don't even remember their baby as a very new infant, they really are telling the truth. 
• Sleep is the best thing ever. But sleeping with a baby is the very best thing ever. 
• You really will worry every time something is wrong. Even if it's something minor. You're that person. 
• You'll cry when you go back to work. You'll move on and become a productive worker again, but those first few days suck. 
• The baby really will be fine. Most of the choices six of one, half dozen of the other.
• If you stress out, so will the baby. This does not make not-stressing-out any easier. 
• You'll become someone who gets sad and/or cries when something happens to a fictional baby on TV. 
• You only have to become part of the mommy wars if you want to be. When in doubt, stay off the damn Internet. 
• Make time for other people. Your friends, your family, and especially your spouse. This may be harder than it seems, but it's vitally important. 
• Babies reach milestones on their own time. Don't compare your kid to others. This is difficult. 
• You really will use a baby voice. So will everyone else you know. 
• You will love that baby more than you thought you ever could. 
• You may love being pregnant, and you may love the child growing inside you. But once the baby is actually born and becomes a real person, it's a whole new ballgame. 
• Oh, and those first weeks after the baby is born are uncomfortable bordering on painful. Cabbage leaves in your bra will help. 

Through My Daughter's Eyes

I was invited to a wedding where the mother of the bride sang a song she wrote for her daughter with the title above. Not being much of a singer, here's my attempt to capture life through my daughter's eyes. 

Hailey:
In your eyes, the moments between when you wake up and when we get you must be the saddest of your day - you haven't seen your parents in about 10 hours, your diaper is full, you're hungry, and you're in a cage. Hopefully that sadness is balanced by the moments when you are snuggled on our chests sleeping - you were under the weather this weekend, so there were many warm baby cuddles. You sacked out on top of me, I covered you with a blanket, and we slept - or you slept and I read or watched TV. Lovely moments for all.

In your eyes, having a full diaper is usually better than having it changed. But a diaper change does mean being cold and wet, being on your back, and being totally out of control. I'll never understand the allure of a poopy diaper, but I can see why you wouldn't like the change.

In your eyes, a bucket is amazing. It's a hat, it can hold toys, it can be upside-down or right-side up. It echoes when you stick your face in it and talk. You can bang on it and make noise, or you can bang it up and down to make a different noise. You love toys that you can pound or pound on - including utensils, blocks, books, whatever. It would be great if we could all take such pleasure in simple toys and manipulating objects. Your smile every time you get the exact same result is my miracle.

In your eyes, clothes are just objects that hang off you. Your hair (which is getting thicker) doesn't cause angst. Baths are fun (but Mommy's showers are torture). Your pants are getting too short -another reason I wish it was summer - but you don't care. Socks and hats are the best, because you can take them off. We could all learn to be less self-conscious and distracted by the material.

You're an amazing baby, Hailey. I love when you discover things (today you played with the light switch and watched the light go on and off for a long time). I love your snuggly body. I love you. And I love seeing the world through your eyes.

LMG: Baby Food

So there's a huge industry making baby food. And another industry selling items to make and store "healthier" baby food (steamers, processors, fancy ice cube trays for storage, etc.). I'm here to tell you that babies need none of these things (or at least not very much). Here's a short list of what a baby can eat that you can make in seconds. 

• Steam in the bag veggies
• Applesauce
• Yogurt
• Cottage cheese
• Ripe bananas
• Tiny pieces of bread
• Baked or mashed potatoes (or sweet potatoes)
• Avocados
• When the baby gets a few teeth: sliced cheese, small veggies like peas, tortillas, cheerios, noodles, eggs, small pieces of basically whatever you're eating

See? Save yourself some money and hassle. I bought one box of rice cereal, and I've bought I think two small containers of baby food for travel. There's so much false hysteria in the baby industry - that doesn't mean you have to buy into it. 

Frugal Fran

It's not an exaggeration to say we're not rich people. And now that there are three of us, money is not going to get looser (Side note: do people say that? Or do they just say that money is tight?). So here's a list of things we do to save money, along with helpful links where appropriate.

• Make our own laundry detergent. We're powdered detergent people, so it's actually remarkably easy. We've been doing this for a few months now, and I don't notice our clothes being more or less dirty. The are without scent, which I think is a good thing. And since we have borax handy, I use that to pre-treat special stains. 
• Line-dry our clothes. Although there was an initial investment ($60ish) to put up the clothesline, I'm convinced this will be a money-saver in the long run. Caveats: We don't line dry our towels or jeans (because they get too stiff), and as we live in Minnesota this is strictly weather-permitting. 
• Make our own baby wipes. We priced these out at about 1 cent apiece, which is about half the price of store-bought wipes. It's not a huge saving per wipe, but as we will go through many wipes over the years it will add up. And these are made with things we always have around the house. 
• Ride a scooter. Nick was lucky enough to be gifted a motorized scooter (like a Vespa) from my parents. It gets about 75 mpg, and it's handy for going on short trips (like his work) on nice days. 
• Eating at home. Enough said. We've always done this, and it's a good idea for many reasons. Last night I made a pizza. Usually when we eat out we go for something cheap, use a coupon or do a mystery shop. 
• Stay out of the store. No temptation. 
• Coupons. 

I'm sure there are more ... I will share as I think of them. Next I will share areas where we splurge. 

On the Street Where You Live

Baby,

You were due yesterday. But apparently you've decided to wait a few more days to arrive (please just a few more days). So in the meantime, I'm thinking about what will happen when you are born. And really, I don't know. And there are plenty of other things I don't know, as well as plenty of things your daddy doesn't know. So, here's a list of things you won't be learning from your parents, which you'll have to learn on the streets - or go through life not knowing, which is fine too (trust me). 

• Pretty much everything about sports - how to play them, things fans say, pretty much anything beyond the basic concept. 
• How to eat without making a mess (seriously, I don't know why we consistently fail at this). 
• Spontaneity (we have our moments, but basically we are planners). 
• Hipster music - we are largely stuck in the musical past (where it is awesome). 
• Advanced fashion sense (but, please, if you emulate one of us make it me instead of your father and his affection for Canadian tuxedos). 
• Exactly what night people do (it's fine if you are one, but beware we like to be up and eating cereal by about 7:00). 

And there's probably more, but this is what comes to mind most quickly. And if you never learn these things, I assure you, you'll be fine. There are plenty of other things you can learn at home, and we'll do our best to make sure you learn them all and enter the world fully equipped for whatever is thrown at you. 

April 2012 - Month -1

To my baby:

It's one month before your/my/our due date. Your room is stocked with baby toys, baby clothes and all manner of baby stuff. Earlier this week, your daddy painted a caterpillar on your wall. We feel prepared - we still need a car seat, but we've done the classes and gotten the stuff, and we're prepared. We may never be ready.

It's getting awkward for me to move around and do everyday things, and I have to pee an obscene number of times per day, but fortunately I've had a pretty easy pregnancy. Right now I'm not really letting myself think about delivery ... I more or less have a birth plan, but mostly I'm willing to go with the flow. Your flow.

We haven't decided your name yet. We've talked about it, and there are definite favorites, but we'll wait to see you before we make the final decision. In fact, we don't know a lot about you. And besides our voices and the fact that I have an incredible sweet tooth, you don't know about us. But we'll be a family in one month. Starting from day one, we'll be your parents. And some days we'll be great at it, and some days we'll probably suck at it. But we'll try. Every day. And we'll love you. Every day. And we'll probably never be able to give you everything you want, but we'll give you everything we can. Every day. And we'll remember that, and with any luck you'll remember that, and we'll be a close, loving family. Every day.

Love you,
Mommy

I Can Do It

My mom taught me one simple philosphy when it comes to accomplishing things: How hard can it be? And, sure enough, with a little time/patience/training, it turns out that most things are doable.

Including, it would follow logically, being a stay-at-home mom (really a work-at-home mom). So there must be a way to do this. And I've been thinking about my skills (actual or imagined) and how they could bring in money.

Things I know I can do:

• Write/edit/proofread. This is my current full-time gig, and it can be done from home. I know there's at least some freelance work of this type out there ... I just need to find it.
• General office work. Microsoft Word is basically my bitch, I'm fluent with the other Office products, and I can file and organize with the best of them. It seems like there must be situations out there where I can do this type of work from home ... or during the hours baby is home with Daddy or in an environment where baby could be in a playpen.
• Take surveys. I have opinions. I can share them. I know there is only a small amount of money in this, but it's better than nothing.
• Knit. I admit this would take a little practice, but I've done it before and I can do it again. Fast enough to make plenty of money? Dunno.
• Give plasma. I honestly don't mind doing this, contrary to the stigma it sometimes gets. (I'm not sure how long I have to wait after baby to do this.)
• Clean.
• Baby-sit. But I don't see myself doing this full time. Also house-sit or dog-sit.
• Run errands. Plop the kid in the car seat and go to it.
• Answer phones. I used to be an inbound telemarketer. I have a good phone voice, and I can read scripts smoothly.

And I'm sure there are other things. At this point I'm considering anything that can be done from home, in an environment where baby can hang out, or during the hours hubby is home (which is until noon most days).

Other ideas?