One Year

Exactly one year ago today, I was starting to realize I really was in labor (technically my water broke very early in the morning, but all morning and part of the afternoon was pretty pain-free). That means today has marked one year since I've become a mom. And I've learned some things.

• When moms say they don't even remember their baby as a very new infant, they really are telling the truth. 
• Sleep is the best thing ever. But sleeping with a baby is the very best thing ever. 
• You really will worry every time something is wrong. Even if it's something minor. You're that person. 
• You'll cry when you go back to work. You'll move on and become a productive worker again, but those first few days suck. 
• The baby really will be fine. Most of the choices six of one, half dozen of the other.
• If you stress out, so will the baby. This does not make not-stressing-out any easier. 
• You'll become someone who gets sad and/or cries when something happens to a fictional baby on TV. 
• You only have to become part of the mommy wars if you want to be. When in doubt, stay off the damn Internet. 
• Make time for other people. Your friends, your family, and especially your spouse. This may be harder than it seems, but it's vitally important. 
• Babies reach milestones on their own time. Don't compare your kid to others. This is difficult. 
• You really will use a baby voice. So will everyone else you know. 
• You will love that baby more than you thought you ever could. 
• You may love being pregnant, and you may love the child growing inside you. But once the baby is actually born and becomes a real person, it's a whole new ballgame. 
• Oh, and those first weeks after the baby is born are uncomfortable bordering on painful. Cabbage leaves in your bra will help. 

Give Yourself a Break

This morning I woke up to a dusting of snow (which was expected to and did melt quickly). Hailey slept late (until about 8:00, which is a solid hour later than usual). And the house, as expected, had not cleaned itself overnight - the dishwasher remained unloaded, the floors remained neither swept nor vacuumed, the dust was solidly in place and the birthday party invitations were not yet addressed. And tonight is the night I have to make supper so that we can have leftovers for the rest of the week. Add that to my work stress (which is improved from a week ago, but still not a good situation), and I was one unhappy Juliet. 

So I made an executive decision. I did not want to go to work. Do I gave myself a work from home day. Baby got to sleep in before being bundled off to daycare. I took some chicken out to thaw, and I put it in the oven before going to pick up the little one. And I used my lunch break to vacuum. Things are still dusty and the invitations will be done shortly, but it was a good day overall. The work stress was still there, but I had time to get it done without worrying about pick-up time. 

I gave myself a break. And that little decision made my day. If you can work from home, do it. If you can't, maybe your break is waking up 10 minutes earlier to tidy up. Maybe it's calling a friend during your commute. Maybe your break is letting the house stay dirty for another day or two. Getting a pedicure while the kids are with their dad. Or maybe it's picking up pizza so you don't have to cook. I've done all these things at one time or another, and it's almost always worth it. Trust me - you're no good to your family or your work or even yourself if you're too tightly wound. You know your breaking point - give yourself a break before you get there. 

In Which I Advise Myself

So awhile ago, I saw a blog in which the writer was giving her younger self advice. At that time I meant to write a similar post, but I never did. Today, I rectify that. So from the ripe old age of 29, here are some things I know now that I wish I had known sooner.

• You won't always have the same friends. And this is OK. What's not OK is doing things just because your friends are doing them. If something doesn't feel right, don't do it.
• On the other hand, Juliet, there's no reason not to have a little fun. It's entirely fine to have fun and occasionally blow things off. Just decide which things are important to you, and don't blow them off.
• It will be easier if you learn to keep your emotions in check. You may never be entirely successful at this, but try not to overreact.
• Don't coast so much. Even if you're good at things, you can get better.
• Money ... you'll be fine. Sometimes you will definitely be finer than others, but it's not worth wasting too much time worrying about it.
• You are not good at directions. Get a definite plan and directions before you go.
• Being honest with people is always better. Just say it. You don't have to be mean. Stringing someone along and being miserable is never the best option. And don't pretend that you like people and things you don't.
• Get the allergy medicine from behind the counter by the pharmacist. It's worth it.
• Don't be defined by inertia. It's not a reason to stay in a relationship, apartment or party. Or really anything else.
• Be bold. Not obnoxious, bold.