Monday, May 21, 2012

On the Street Where You Live


You were due yesterday. But apparently you've decided to wait a few more days to arrive (please just a few more days). So in the meantime, I'm thinking about what will happen when you are born. And really, I don't know. And there are plenty of other things I don't know, as well as plenty of things your daddy doesn't know. So, here's a list of things you won't be learning from your parents, which you'll have to learn on the streets - or go through life not knowing, which is fine too (trust me). 
  • Pretty much everything about sports - how to play them, things fans say, pretty much anything beyond the basic concept. 
  • How to eat without making a mess (seriously, I don't know why we consistently fail at this). 
  • Spontaneity (we have our moments, but basically we are planners). 
  • Hipster music - we are largely stuck in the musical past (where it is awesome). 
  • Advanced fashion sense (but, please, if you emulate one of us make it me instead of your father and his affection for Canadian tuxedos). 
  • Exactly what night people do (it's fine if you are one, but beware we like to be up and eating cereal by about 7:00). 
And there's probably more, but this is what comes to mind most quickly. And if you never learn these things, I assure you, you'll be fine. There are plenty of other things you can learn at home, and we'll do our best to make sure you learn them all and enter the world fully equipped for whatever is thrown at you. 

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