Monday, May 24, 2010

Thoughts on the Big Wedding

It's been awhile since the big event. And here is a long-delayed post sharing my thoughts on having the big wedding.

Some of you may know that I was initially opposed to the big event. But not staunchly opposed, an I was talked into it pretty quickly. And overall, I have to say I enjoyed it. But there were both pros and cons.

Let's get the bad stuf out of the way first - Cons:
  • Cost. Obviously, the big wedding is ridiculously more expensive than the city hall wedding. We did things for reasonably cheap (seriously, I don't even know what people who spend $100,000 spend it on), but still it was plenty of money.
  • Stress. I don't know, but I imagine the very small wedding involves a lot less stress. Such as stress related to the guest list, the vendors, the mailing and contacting, the etc.
  • Seriously, the stress. If you know someone getting married, do them a favor and empower yourself to make your own decisions.
  • Time. It takes many hours to plan the big wedding. We were fortunate enough to not have a problem with time off, but it's still a time commitment.
  • Expectations. We skipped or seriously simplified a lot of wedding customs and traditions, but there are still many things that apparently you are obligated to do.

Now the good stuff -- Pros:

  • Fun. It was a great day. My family and friends were all there. There was food and dancing selected by me. Dress, hair, make-up, all the prettiness I seldom do is nice to do once in awhile.
  • Family and friends. I don't often see some of these people, and it was nice to have an excuse. Although the opportunity to chat is not plentiful during the event.
  • It is your day. Got the violinist. Got the outfit I wanted. Had I had other dreams related to my wedding day I could also have had those things. Not a lot of days feature all your favorite things. And a bachelorette party in your honor.
  • Gifts. Not to be shallow, but we probably got more gifts with the big wedding than we would have with the small one. And we're practical people, so we got things we didn't have that we needed.

If I had it to do over, would I? Can't say for sure. I probably would, just because you only get the one shot. If there is a second wedding (which, obviously, I don't think there will be), it will be small.

Would I have done a lot of things differently? Not really. A few very minor things. And I would have made it more clear early on that people should make their own decisions. There was a breakdown (mine) the night before, and I would have worked harder to avoid that. And slept more in the days leading up to it.

More wedding thoughts to follow.

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