"I" Have Become "Them"

So today ... total bummer. And lately life has consisted of a streak of not-my-best days. And even though I really try to compartmentalize things so that I am not cranky at people and things who don't deserve it, I may not have been 100% successful lately.

And since I try to be nice and a good person, blah, blah, blah, I'm working on that this week. And it has occurred to me that I might be missing something that would perhaps improve my mood - exercise. My commuting schedule and brokeness have combined to severely limit my gym access, and the fact that it's been in the double digits below zero has severely limited my access to outside. And the holiday fun and yumminess has limited my ambition to do things like workout tapes.

Yes, apparently I am one of those people who gets depressed when I don't exercise. This is a prime example of things about me that have changed in the past decade or so.

What's a Girl To Do?

Since I've been a Weight Watcher, I've developed a love for the oats and chocolate Fiber One bar (actually usually a generic equivalent thereof). Tasty. Satisfies my need for chocolate in the afternoon. Fills me up until dinner. Cheap. Meets basically all my needs. All pros.

Con: Apparently that much fiber in the afternoon doesn't sit well with me. Specifically, later that evening it causes a problem of the gastrointestinal variety, which causes unpleasantness for those around me.

I like the pros. In fact, I may love the pros. I seriously dislike the con. I am not sure how to solve this dilemma.

Why does everything happen to me?

My Contribution to the Healthcare Debate

I can be a shouter, but plenty of shouting is already happening around the healthcare debate. Nonetheless, here's my story.

Now that I've shacked up and Boyfriend is laid off, it's time to add him to my insurance. I'm lucky enough to have employer-subsidized insurance, and my plan offers domestic partner benefits. It's a high deductible plan, but I have some money saved in my HSA and so far all has worked for me. Perfect. Almost.

I go to work and ask how to go about adding a domestic partner. You have to fill out a form and have it notarized (for the record, you are not required to prove you are actually married with any type of official form). Fine. His premium is not pre-tax like mine and like a spouse's would be. Slightly less fine, but grit my teeth and agree to pay it.

Oh ... and he can't access the money in my HSA. And my employer can't contribute to the HSA at the rate they would if we were married. Not fine.

Apparently it's an IRS rule. Since he isn't married, getting the full benefit of my insurance (which we would be paying for) is too much of a tax advantage. Remember that Boyfriend is not fortunate enough to be employed full-time (not for lack of interest or skills), so a tax burden is indeed burdensome.

So, now it comes down to marriage being a tax benefit for the married. We're fortunate enough to have the option to get married (a subject for another post), but we have chosen to remain unmarried for the time being (yet another post). I don't think access to healthcare is a good reason to get married (I'm sure it happens, though). I don't understand why standing in front of a judge or a minister would suddenly make him more attractive to insurers. I don't understand why marriage is a state institution (oops, treading on the ground of that other post).

So, to recap, my healthy 30-year-old boyfriend and I (a healthy 29-year-old) will pay about $900 a year for his insurance. Which will kick in after he reaches $3,000 in medical bills (let's all hope this doesn't happen). If it's a truly catastrophic event, we will pay over $5,000 out of pocket, and we won't be able to use my health savings account to pay for any of it -- and since we don't typically have an extra five grand, that money will either wipe out our savings or come from some type of loan, or we will pay a hefty tax penalty. We want him to have insurance. We want to pay for it. But the system sure does make it difficult. I've never written to a politician before, but I am researching addresses.

White Skin Privilege

So I'm full-on ginger: red hair, pale skin, blue eyes, freckles, the whole thing. Generally, I like the distinctiveness of the red hair, and I don't mind the overall effect.

Yesterday, I biked a little over 10 miles. Walked around, looked at cars, chatted, ate a hot dog. Came home, and my face is all gritty so I decide to wash it. I rub a wet washcloth on my face, and I look at the cloth and noticed I there is quite a bit of rubbed-off sunscreen. So clearly I adequately applied. Yet my nose is distinctly pink. Sigh. Seems a girl can't win.

And let's not even talk about the burn on the back of my hands, which is ridiculous.

I Do Not Look Forward to Aging

I have a traveling pain in my shoulder that won't go away and isn't caused by an injury or seem to have a pinpointable cause. Earlier in the week, I got a blister on the balls of both feet (admittedly, this one was caused by stupidity). I also overdid the jumping earlier in the week and have sore calves.

Seriously, I am 28 years old and I am falling apart. In about a month we celebrate my grandma's 80th birthday. I anticipate living a long life, but I'm going to have to toughen up when I start having actual problems. Or I'll have to surround myself with people who don't mind hearing me whine.

Fat Tuesday and 41 More Days

So it occurs to me that Lent starts tomorrow. And though I'm not very religious, I like the idea of using the opportunity to give something up/do something good. I would like it to be something that would make me healthier (something that isn't giving up sweets - let's be realistic here) or something that results in an improved social condition (volunteering or otherwise giving something). Any ideas? I'm am thinking of seriously curbing my screentime, doing something like the 100 push-up challenge (challenge being the key word for me), or something like giving up pre-made lunches, but I'm open to suggestions. Help!

Just Outside of Your Front Door

So lately I've been unexplainably tired and generally down. Not sad necessarily, but certainly not happy. And I was thinking about how it was about a year ago that I briefly went back on antidepressants. And how I generally lose it at my review, which occurs in January or February. Generally I tend to lose it pretty easily, especially around now.

And then it occurred to me: I live in Minnesota. Outside time right now occurs to brief spurts between my car and a building, and when I absolutely must take the garbage out. General malaise probably at least somewhat attributable to lack of sunshine and fresh air and overall outsideness. I wouldn't describe myself as outdoorsy, but during the summer I generally walk and bike and read and hang out outside. Minnesota is great in the summer.

So tonight I made it a point to come home before dark, put on my boots and my hat, and go for a walk. My regular aerobics class got cancelled, and it turns out that walkin through snow is great exercise. It's a small step, but an important one. And one I will make it a point to repeat as the weather allows.