Thoughts on the Big Wedding

It's been awhile since the big event. And here is a long-delayed post sharing my thoughts on having the big wedding.

Some of you may know that I was initially opposed to the big event. But not staunchly opposed, an I was talked into it pretty quickly. And overall, I have to say I enjoyed it. But there were both pros and cons.

Let's get the bad stuf out of the way first - Cons:

• Cost. Obviously, the big wedding is ridiculously more expensive than the city hall wedding. We did things for reasonably cheap (seriously, I don't even know what people who spend $100,000 spend it on), but still it was plenty of money.
• Stress. I don't know, but I imagine the very small wedding involves a lot less stress. Such as stress related to the guest list, the vendors, the mailing and contacting, the etc.
• Seriously, the stress. If you know someone getting married, do them a favor and empower yourself to make your own decisions.
• Time. It takes many hours to plan the big wedding. We were fortunate enough to not have a problem with time off, but it's still a time commitment.
• Expectations. We skipped or seriously simplified a lot of wedding customs and traditions, but there are still many things that apparently you are obligated to do.

Now the good stuff -- Pros:

• Fun. It was a great day. My family and friends were all there. There was food and dancing selected by me. Dress, hair, make-up, all the prettiness I seldom do is nice to do once in awhile.
• Family and friends. I don't often see some of these people, and it was nice to have an excuse. Although the opportunity to chat is not plentiful during the event.
• It is your day. Got the violinist. Got the outfit I wanted. Had I had other dreams related to my wedding day I could also have had those things. Not a lot of days feature all your favorite things. And a bachelorette party in your honor.
• Gifts. Not to be shallow, but we probably got more gifts with the big wedding than we would have with the small one. And we're practical people, so we got things we didn't have that we needed.

If I had it to do over, would I? Can't say for sure. I probably would, just because you only get the one shot. If there is a second wedding (which, obviously, I don't think there will be), it will be small.

Would I have done a lot of things differently? Not really. A few very minor things. And I would have made it more clear early on that people should make their own decisions. There was a breakdown (mine) the night before, and I would have worked harder to avoid that. And slept more in the days leading up to it.

More wedding thoughts to follow.

Chipping Away

Recently, I went to the cupboard and was saddened by the lack of chocolate chips. As I was lamenting it, Husband asked what happened to them. Seemed like an obvious one to me - he didn't eat them, so apparently I did. Duh.

He thinks this is weird. I ate the chips over the course of a month or so ... a few here, a handful there. For some reason, it would be normal if it was an entire bag of chocolate chips. Or an equal sized bag of chocolate candies.

Tell me, is it weird to eat chocolate chips on their own?

Pants Off Dance Off

Thanks to Weight Watchers, I have no work pants that fit. This is a good thing. But it's also a bad thing, as pants that hang off my hips and sag around my ass are not a good look for me (or anyone). And as I haven't lost any weight since December, I should be able to have a few things that sit at my waist and frame my butt.

So this weekend I bought pants. It's probably important to note here that I was retaining some water over the weekend, and I was totally aware of it. So I bought pants that fit, thinking that the smaller size was just too big a risk (I am still a little self-conscious in things that are tight).

And today I wore the pants. Which were slightly too big. I was planning to keep them, as they fit better than my old pants and I didn't feel right about returning something I had already worn. And I convinced myself that they may shrink to fit.

Then, this afternoon I was walking and suddenly there was thread everywhere. My hem fell. First wearing. Pants are going back. Likely not to be replaced anytime soon.

But regular fat clothes are going to the garage sale for sure!

'Til Now, I Always Got By On My Own

This weekend's plans are to keep things low-key (still recovering from last week). Husband (!) is spending the weekend at his parents' cabin to help them with some projects. I am going to watch chick flicks, ride my bike, perhaps write some thank you cards, and do very little else. Since he was coming to the town where I work, I had no carpool and some friends were going to enjoy the happy hour, we met in work town first. And I drove myself home and got here around 9:00.

And as I drove into the driveway, it occurred to me that I have never stayed here by myself. I have only lived here for a few months, and although I've spent the night away solo I've never spent it here solo. Odd. All of the sudden the house seems empty. And cold. (It's not really either.) And, of course, it's raining.

So tonight, TV is intentionally on something not remotely creepy (Friday night TV tends to be newsmagazine investigations into dead women). And hoping I encounter no mice, bats, other critters or broken pipes. I suspect things will be more normal in the morning.

Pretty

Saturday was the big day. More on that later (still processing some thoughts). But I do have one thought that is processed.

Lots of people said I looked pretty/good/beautiful. Which is not surprising or bad on your wedding day. But a lot of people also commented that they hadn't seen me wear make-up or glasses, with my hair done, or since I lost the weight.

And it's true that I usually rock glasses, no make-up and wash-and-go hair. Largely because I am lazy (and I can't read with my contacts). I figure there is no need to make myself look different than I naturally do.

But is there a reason to do so? Would my life be different if I just spent a few minutes to put on lip gloss (as my friend says)? If I shaved my legs every week would things be different for me? I've largely given up on my modeling career, but would other things be different? Work, men, friends, etc.? And would I like it better?

Guess we'll never know. I liked the wedding look, but it really was a one-time thing.

Two Weeks

I am less than two weeks from being a Mrs. Which means many things are done, but there is more to do (and I am probably not even aware of some of the things that must yet be done). But I have a violinist to play Eternal Flame, and I will be married at the end of the day, so really that's all I need. (There are not a lot of things I've always wanted at my wedding, but Eternal Flame by the Bangles is one of them.)

And it's spring, and Easter (which means I have eaten many Peeps), and it's almost the end of my freefall into weight gain (dress fits, so I am allowing myself some leeway).

And almost the end of my single life. Which will be weird, but good. Boyfriend excels at starting dinner and other chores, so that's the end of me doing those things. Not the end of me folding laundry or getting groceries. Not the end of fun, but the end of me not having to check in when I am out late.

Moving Pictures

I haven't been to the movies in like a month.

Now, this is not a big deal. But it is odd for me. After all, we are less than a month after the Oscars. And for the first year since probably high school, I didn't see the majority of the nominated films. No long days at the theater. No making lists and combing blogs obsessively. (I said obsessively. I read what I usually read as far as books and magazines - a list that skews toward entertainment.)

And I'm OK with that. Thanks to Netflix I had actually seen the Best Picture. But that's about it. And if it weren't available on DVD for quite a few weeks I probably would have missed The Hurt Locker.

Part of my entertainment relative abstinence is location (I quite wanted to see Precious, which never came to my area). Part timing (I was otherwise occupied for all of Up in the Air's local run). Part lack of interest (just not excited about Avatar, although in past years I would have gone anyway). Part Brokefest 2010 (though this is a minor detail, it did affect my decision making).

Maybe this year will be a blip in my radar - maybe next year I will see all (10?) Best Picture nominees. Maybe I never will again. Maybe I won't even watch the broadcast in future years. I don't know. I still enjoy movies. I still watch them often. And I still really like going to the theater, though I wish people would consider that a cell phone-free time. And I still like to read the blogs and see the dresses and read Entertainment Weekly. I think this year was just a year of other priorities. And that's OK.

P.S. Speaking of movies, if you haven't yet read Chris Jones's profile of Roger Ebert in Esquire, do yourself a favor and read it now. It moved me nearly to tears, and I'm usually not so inclined. Also, read Ebert's journal. Even now, he's much more than a man with thumbs.