The Summer of Plan B

Sorry about the delay, folks ... this may or may not be worth the wait. 

So I realized I'm behind in blogging. I haven't even posted here that I have a new job (working in marketing at Legacy Building Solutions, a company that makes tension fabric buildings). This is the end of week two, and so far so good. The people are nice, the atmosphere is family-like, and I get to learn new things (good: construction terms; less good: Photoshop) which will be useful in real life and the future, and I get to be creative and have my ideas used.

Which is not the summer of laid off I was expecting. Or the summer of working at DealChicken I was expecting before that. Nick is still on bedrest, so it's been busy at home. Thank God for my mother-in-law for helping with Nick every day, to our daycare lady for being so awesome and flexible, and to pretty much everyone else for being generally supportive.

So new job and being the only one in my house who can put on pants has come with many demands on me. And it's meant missing out on some things (a wedding, naps, trips to Maddock), but it's also meant more family time than we probably would have had otherwise (everyone is at home every evening). And "adaptability" is one of my top five strengths, so it's actually gone a little better than I thought it would (so far I've been to work on time every day!). Money-wise I think it will be fine, but it's hard to tell as we haven't gotten any bills yet to see how everything will shake out with insurance. But we've been eating at home and only driving one car, so I'm not too worried about it.

And so plan B continues. And it's a good thing - if I were laid off this whole time, we probably would have a hard time with bills since Nick also isn't working. And who knows how we'd be treating each other if we were home all day every day (our relationship is fine, but there's such a thing as personal space). And we got to watch the whole season of Arrested Development together. And I've finally figured out how to make Cream of Wheat without boiling it over and making a huge mess.

So that's an update on the summer of plan B. Hopefully I'll get back to regular blogging, and better posts than this, soon. It's good for the soul.

The First Six Months

Thanks to Revanche at A Gai Shan Life for the idea ...

Nick and I met online. And for several months, that's where a lot of our relationship took place - we IMed a lot (remember when you did that not at work?). We were living about an hour apart from each other - me in an apartment, he in a house with his sister. So for several years we drove back and forth every other weekend.

And in that first six months (or what I remember as the first six months - some of these things may have actually happened later, but memory is subjective), we learned a lot about each other. The role of family in our lives, and the role of friends. How we felt about and related to money (hint: we learned to actually talk about it). How we spent our free time. And what we saw in the future.

And we created a lot of memories in those months. Inside jokes we still use today. Fun times, and silly times. I knew right away this was it - after our first or second date I told a co-worker I wouldn't be dating anyone new anytime soon. And seven years later, I still don't think I'll be dating anyone else. And now we've created more memories, created our own little family and learned more about how to relate to each other. But if we hadn't had those first six months, I don't know where we'd be today.

Three Years

Today was our third anniversary. It was a cold, snowy day - quite the contrast from our beautiful, springy wedding day. We planned to go to the restaurant where we had our reception for a smelt fry (my first), but sick baby means that plans are postponed until tomorrow.

How has my life changed in the past three years? We lived together before we were married (scandal!), so it's easy to say not very much. And we've since had a baby, so it's easy to say in every way possible. But I think the real answer is somewhere in between.

I've learned that it's OK to sometimes give up control. We combined checking accounts, so I never even check it any more ... I used to check it at least once a day. But I know we both know how to live within our means, and I know he's honest with me when I ask how we're doing. And I do know how to check the account, so there's always a back-up plan.

I've learned to take other people into account. When you're single it's sometimes easier to make decisions, since it really only affects you. But it's nice to have a fully invested sounding board, as well as someone else to occasionally make decisions.

I think the best thing about our relationship is that we're great partners. Not in the sense that we split all chores 50/50 (although we each pull our weight) or that we always agree (although usually we can come to a conclusion we're both happy with). It's more about being complements. I'm somewhat prone to losing my shit, and Nick is a great calming influence on that. We each have skills the other lacks. And we know we don't have to take the world on alone. I loved being single, and I was great at it, but I love being married. I love you, Nick.

Keeping Up Appearances

I was in a small car accident - a fender-bender, really - last week. (Everyone is fine.) My fender - or more accurately, my door and the area behind my door that is apparently called a quarter panel - is dented. It was entirely not my fault, and as the other party worked for a car rental company it appears that there is a check in my future.

1. I am shocked at how much body work apparently costs. I really thought the amount of damage would be less than my deductible. Nope.
2. This means that the insurance company will cut me a check. A big one - less than the value of a new car, but big-ish anyway.

And so enters the first major disagreement of our young marriage. I would take the money, get the tires aligned (damage caused by the accident), get some work done on the engine (pre-existing), and take the rest of the money (which I estimate to be around $1,500, although that number pretty much came from my head) and pay off some debt, get some fuel to heat the house in the winter, or do something else to better our financial situation. This would mean that I would drive a slightly dented but totally functional car.

Husband would spend all the money getting the body work done. We would have a car with a smooth exterior, although next month's finances would be the same as this month's (which is to say, tight).

I really don't care what my car looks like. I care that I hate worrying about how we will pay all the monthly bills. I care that I have a car. It's eight years old, but it gets me from point A to point B, regardless of if it is dented.

Husband doesn't like looking at dents and hates the idea of driving a not-so-nice-looking car. He doesn't love the bills, but he's willing to live with them since we do in fact have enough to support ourselves.

And so goes the disagreement.

Planning Ahead

Today, I cleaned the floors in our entry, kitchen and living room. I do a quick sweep on a regular basis, but it's not often that I actually move everything, vacuum, sweep and mop. And our soil is quite sandy, so there was plenty of grit around.

And I came to a decision. Even though our children are still theoretical, I'm so getting a cleaning lady when we have them. Just once (or maybe twice) a month. Since I cleaned the floor tonight, I didn't get to bike (too much nasty pollen anyway), make supper or do other stuff. Including, presumably, play with my kids.

Someone should get a better-playing job now so we can afford it.

How Quickly I Revert

Hubby is working tonight, as he has been many nights. Which means dinner is on my own. Not a problem, as I am perfectly capable of preparing and serving myself a meal.

Tonight's meal: an omelet, which is how I describe eggs with things scrambled in them. Eaten from a bowl. With a piece of peanut butter toast.

Last night: random leftovers scrambled together -- potatoes, beans, cheese, onions, etc.

The food of a single girl. At least I know I still got it.

Snapshot: Newlywed Nights

It's not about last night. It's about the feeling of last night (not that kind of night). And I know that those nights won't last forever, so I do my best to capture it.

Time with friends first. New friends for me. Co-workers for you. Outside in a beautiful night Sunshine, sunscreen, mild exercise, laughs at others and ourselves. Then the co-workers left, and we ate the picnic you packed filled with your food and my food. Sitting, talking, relaxing on a Friday.

Then home. Movie. Computer. Magazines. Then it got later, and just the movie. I impressed myself and stayed up for the whole thing (a rarity for me lately). Sitting on the loveseat. You're trying to sneak a peek at the flesh between my pants and my shirt. I'm forever trying to find a comfortable position. Snuggles. Not intimate; loving. Nice. Just one night among many similar nights, but a good one. If our whole lives are like this, that's just fine with me.

Chipping Away

Recently, I went to the cupboard and was saddened by the lack of chocolate chips. As I was lamenting it, Husband asked what happened to them. Seemed like an obvious one to me - he didn't eat them, so apparently I did. Duh.

He thinks this is weird. I ate the chips over the course of a month or so ... a few here, a handful there. For some reason, it would be normal if it was an entire bag of chocolate chips. Or an equal sized bag of chocolate candies.

Tell me, is it weird to eat chocolate chips on their own?

'Til Now, I Always Got By On My Own

This weekend's plans are to keep things low-key (still recovering from last week). Husband (!) is spending the weekend at his parents' cabin to help them with some projects. I am going to watch chick flicks, ride my bike, perhaps write some thank you cards, and do very little else. Since he was coming to the town where I work, I had no carpool and some friends were going to enjoy the happy hour, we met in work town first. And I drove myself home and got here around 9:00.

And as I drove into the driveway, it occurred to me that I have never stayed here by myself. I have only lived here for a few months, and although I've spent the night away solo I've never spent it here solo. Odd. All of the sudden the house seems empty. And cold. (It's not really either.) And, of course, it's raining.

So tonight, TV is intentionally on something not remotely creepy (Friday night TV tends to be newsmagazine investigations into dead women). And hoping I encounter no mice, bats, other critters or broken pipes. I suspect things will be more normal in the morning.