Blessings

• Taking the only night before Christmas that my hubby and I both have off and making our own Christmas celebration.
• Christmas with his family where all I have to bring is salad.
• Christmas with my family next week.
• Presents that are way too nice.
• Presents we were able to buy people with our limited budget.
• Too many decorations at our house.
• Other people's decorations we can drive by and see.
• Baby coming. Baby getting presents that are practical and adorable.
• Hanging out the next day in my jammies until the nephews come over.

I Can Do It

My mom taught me one simple philosphy when it comes to accomplishing things: How hard can it be? And, sure enough, with a little time/patience/training, it turns out that most things are doable.

Including, it would follow logically, being a stay-at-home mom (really a work-at-home mom). So there must be a way to do this. And I've been thinking about my skills (actual or imagined) and how they could bring in money.

Things I know I can do:

• Write/edit/proofread. This is my current full-time gig, and it can be done from home. I know there's at least some freelance work of this type out there ... I just need to find it.
• General office work. Microsoft Word is basically my bitch, I'm fluent with the other Office products, and I can file and organize with the best of them. It seems like there must be situations out there where I can do this type of work from home ... or during the hours baby is home with Daddy or in an environment where baby could be in a playpen.
• Take surveys. I have opinions. I can share them. I know there is only a small amount of money in this, but it's better than nothing.
• Knit. I admit this would take a little practice, but I've done it before and I can do it again. Fast enough to make plenty of money? Dunno.
• Give plasma. I honestly don't mind doing this, contrary to the stigma it sometimes gets. (I'm not sure how long I have to wait after baby to do this.)
• Clean.
• Baby-sit. But I don't see myself doing this full time. Also house-sit or dog-sit.
• Run errands. Plop the kid in the car seat and go to it.
• Answer phones. I used to be an inbound telemarketer. I have a good phone voice, and I can read scripts smoothly.

And I'm sure there are other things. At this point I'm considering anything that can be done from home, in an environment where baby can hang out, or during the hours hubby is home (which is until noon most days).

Other ideas?

Decisions

So I find myself with child. Which is all good and planned and good news. But it does lend itself to some possibilities, each with pros and cons. And I'm usually pretty decisive, but unfortunately sometimes it's about more than what I just want.

Option 1: Stay with my current job.

• Pros: Stable, I know I can do it, doesn't require any change.
• Cons: With the commute, I'm gone for 12 hours a day. And I really, really don't want to do this.

Option 2: Find another job closer to home.

• Pros: Nice short commute is more conducive to being a working mom. Stable income. Gives me time to be away from the kid.
• Cons: I don't actually have this job. And the job market around here is not fantastic.

Option 3: Stay home with the kid. (Note: Just not working is not actually an option for me. So it's a work-at-home scenario.

• Pros: Plenty of time with the kid. No daycare costs. Time to bake artisan bread and hang my clothes on the line and do indie stuff. The more I think about it, the more I want to do this.
• Cons: I would need to cobble together a fairly significant income, which would be a lot of work. I may get bored/lonely/fat if I am home all day. Loss of insurance/retirement benefits. Hole in my resume.

Help, reader(s). I am leaning toward 3, but I'm pretty risk-averse. And part of me fears that I like the idea of staying home more than I would actually like staying home. I know there's plenty of money out there, but I would need to pretty consistently hustle for it. I may have a few part-time opportunities in the wings, but no sure things. And I like sure things.

I Hate This Cock

I love summer (I'm not so crazy about extreme heat, but that's a story for another day). I have a hammock, a fire pit, a swing, a grill ... all the trappings of summer fun.

And my neighbor has a rooster. That crows. In the morning. In the afternoon. All night. Every day. All day. Loudly. Sometimes it sounds like a rooster; sometimes it sounds like a woman screaming.

And I hate it. If you're ever invited over for a chicken dinner, beware that it might be neighbor rooster. Neighbors seem to be nice enough people, but damn. I hate their pet (it must be a pet ... if it was food, they wouldn't have had it for years).

Beware, rooster.


PS: the title -- I know, right? I'm so annoying.

Control Freak

I haven't written in awhile. And lately, things feel a little out of control for me.

Not out of control in that things are awful. Things are fine. And that may be the problem. Fine, not great. I need them to be better. I need to take the next step.

I'm not sure how to take that next step. But I may have an idea. I'm taking responsibility. I'm taking over my own life. I'm the boss of me.

And I may not get everything I want. But I'll know that no one else is in charge.

I can do it. I will do it. I will make it happen. I'll be me, only better.

I will have it. It will be better than fine.

Park It There

I've been living in the country for about a year and a half. This is the first time I've ever lived in the country. It's a permanent situation or me, and it has its charms.

But the other day, I was killing some time in town and I went to the park. And I realized how much I miss parks and public spaces. It was a Minnesota spring day, when everyone's face turns toward the sun. When kids run almost faster than they can. When couples hold hands and put aside their petty arguments. When people with guitars and drums sit outside and play. And some guy with a big kite thing was doing some activity I can only describe as grass-skiing behind the kite.

And I realized how much I miss public spaces. You just don't get that energy in your yard. I love my yard, but it will never be the same.

Want. Need.

June 1, I will be home. Doing nothing.

Meanwhile, the cast of Glee will be on their live tour just two hours from my home. But to see them, I need $100.

I work full-time. I have some savings. I probably have $100. But if I spent it on concert tickets (really, just one ticket), I may not be able to buy gas. Or dinner in a restaurant for me and the hubby. Or a data plan. Or super cute sparkly flip-flops. Another bag of whole wheat flour.

So, being responsible means not spending $100 on a concert ticket. And while I know that's the best choice and I'm doing the right thing, that doesn't mean it doesn't suck a little. Being an adult is sometimes no fun.

Scene It

It's cold. And windy. And otherwise sucks outsite. So plans are now accommodating inside time. But fortunately, Coyote Ugly is on TV. And if there's one thing I need, it's to see this movie for the upteenth time. And while I do that, I intend to make naan bread and soup, clean the kitchen and finish the laundry. That's the great thing about movies I have already seen - I can enjoy them without actually watching them, since I know exactly what will happen at any time. Same thing with familiar TV reruns (Friends is the show I know best and the one I'll never flip past, but there are others that will do in a pinch).

So, if you ever want to entertain me, here's how you do it:
Coyote Ugly
Dirty Dancing (I've seeen this movie more than any other)
Pretty Woman (really, most anything Julia Roberts)
10 Things I Hate About You (I will always miss Heath)
Center Stage

This is only a partial list. But if presented with any of these flicks, I can promise the channel won't change.

iPhone

I recently upgraded to an iPhone ... from a flip phone, so it was a big upgrade. And I was told it would change my life.

And it hasn't. It's a phone, people. It's nifty and it does cool stuff, but it's a phone. Your life will never be changed by a phone. Or a computer. Or a car. Or whatever. It's easier to text, but that's hardly the most important thing I do with my life.

Perspective.

Mercenary

I remember learning of mercenaries in junior high - people who work for money, damn the consequences and job.

And, perhaps at the same time, or perhaps later or sooner, I learned about working a job you love - the job you would do even if they didn't pay you.

And, at this moment, my job is neither. I don't make enough to qualify as a money job. I don't love it enough to qualify as a passion job - if they quit paying me, I would quit showing up.

So ... what to do? I do make enough money to live (although, frankly, I would like more frills), and I like it OK. But do I find a job that pays better? Or a job that I truly love? And what job would that be?