Wednesday, September 11, 2013


Yesterday my birthday. I know I was born in 1980, so with some simple math I can deduce that I'm 33. Yes, I am now officially at the age when I have to think about how old I am. When I was a kid I thought that was so pathetic. Wow, how things have changed.

The other day I realized that I feel like a real grown-up almost all the time. Yikes. Does that mean I'm more mature? Not likely. Maybe. But probably no. Really it probably boils down to being busier and more efficient in decision making. And realizing that my decisions have repercussions for me and for others.

There are still so many things I want to do. Ideally I would drop to a four-day workweek (I should probably ask about that, but I'm not ready to take a potential pay cut just yet). I want to have another kid. I want to go on vacation with Nick this winter. I want to see my friends more and make more local friends. Short-term goals, mostly, and all things that are doable.

Long-term? I'm not sure what I want. I've honestly never pictured my life past this point. At some point I'd like to retire. Be debt-free. Maybe write, but probably not. Enjoy Hailey and her potential siblings at all phases of their lives. I'm getting better about living intentionally, but there's still so much time wasted.

Lately, I've stopped being so emotional about everything that happens to me - the tears are still there, but first I make the decisions and do whatever needs to be done. I bawled at the news I was being laid off, but I was fully together when Nick fell. And both situations ultimately turned out fine. Like most do.

Anyway, another year. Maybe 34 is the magic age when I finally have all my shit together. 

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